Asshole!

Back in St. Louis from a few events and a weekend at the Indy 500. The Indy 500 is the world's most largely attended (strictly by red-necks) sporting event in the world. One million people. People wearing earplugs throwing up all over themselves with their children watching. People offering rides to strangers in their pick up trucks, where they drink Jaegermister and tell the girl youre with to cover up their legs. All people with bad teeth and beer guts. Absolutely fantastic time. St. Louis isn't so fun. Apparently people here get married in the zoo. There is a bar in the zoo. No need to go to the zoo. I went to the Anheuser-Busch factory:

“Anheuser-busch, st. louis, Missouri”

It was cool. Lots of clydesdales. Fantastic creatures. All easily over 2000 pounds each.

This goddam girl I'm trying to see is a damn angel. But I don't want life getting complicated again. Already I'm starting to fashion my schedule (which I won't say much more than it's very rushed and varied and all around a crazy good time) around her.

“stay single and raise your kids the same way” – KHM

The picture below is one of me wearing the asshole hat.

Maybe I should just walk around with it on all the time?

Ned Kelly's Last Stand

You're on the road, you meet lots of people, who all come from different walks of life. Everybody knows a few things that you don't and sometimes something pretty cool is garnered.

Such is Ned Kelly's Last Stand.

Apparently, some guy named Ned Kelly opened up a bunch of steakhouses in the US. Named them Ned Kelly's Steakhouse. Unfortunately, things turned pear-shaped and they all ended up closing. Outta there. I'm actually looking at one outside of our Courtyard Marriott in Springfield, IL (home of Abe Lincoln).

In any case, a guy on our tour has an older brother who does consulting work in China. On one of this guy's trips, namely to Hong Kong, he saw a restaurant called Ned Kelly's Last Stand. In asking the tale behind the eerie name for this eatery, he was told that Ned Kelly packed up, fled east, and made a final attempt in going for the gold. In Hong Kong. Thus, Ned Kelly's Last Stand is just that.

Reminds me kind of like The Lorax.

Going to the INDY 500 this weekend. This is the most largely attended sporting event in the entire world.

Oh, Dear.

Bye, Pearl.

Let's Kill Each Other

Craziness in Southampton. Three longtime friends cooped up in a fantastic bungalow, caged in by stormy weather. Visited the Duckwalk winery and bought a few bottles of wine. Upon which, GSF said:

“if we go back to the house, we're going to end up drinking all of these and end up killing each other”

Which we almost ended up doing. 5 bottles (including a blueberry port) which were devoured in no less than 30 minutes. This led to some notable quotables of the stay being:

“Get out the rope”
“Get out the blanket”
“YOU'VE GOT BUGS MAN”

And I wanted to take a fucking restful vacation.

BACK INTO THE FRAY.

Word up toe Joe Nebel. Hope you're getting better pal. I could fucking use some company on the tour.

Flying out of Newark tomorrow. I have a horrible nervous feeling right now. Is this the shakes? No it's not the shakes, it's the feeling you get before the kickoff during a football game. Keep the excitement going. No time to be nervous. Keep going.

Keep going.

Pinatas

“Any donkey is a pinata if you like meat enough” – C.N.

Back home again from this wild tour…Going to the Hamptons on Wed…and to the Artic Monkeys concert…hopefully Cunningham will get us our private balcony section…last time he came through for The Strokes concert and we ended up chilling with Mario Batali and Drew Barrymore, who at said time was dating the drummer, Fabrizio of the band.

Things are swell. Looking into teaching somewhere abroad. Make it happen, Kevin.

If anyone wants to meet up in the city tomorrow give me a ring.

Here's a pic of me passed out at the Derby. Was it fun?

Res ipsa loquitor.

Where are you going?

Derby day was real fun. Next time I'm going to try to get a seat in the stands. I started a quasi-riot which ended up in a flood of irate, drunken, money-needing derby-goers bum rushing an ATM which was briefly commondeered by a cadre of unruly bad-boy frat-style street urchins.

I also passed out under a truck again. Then fell asleep for good at 7:30 PM, and woke up twelve hours later.

Man I needed that.

I think I lost my ipod. You lose so much crap when you're in a hotel room for less than 12 hours at a time.

I also need to stop drinking all of my money away. I need to get a damn camera. Because of this, I am trying to use my journal my mom got me for the trip as a kind of camera. Not working out so well though.

One more week of work until vacation. Going to the Hamptons I think with Four Point

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ENTOURAGE

The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved

About 20 minutes outside Churchill Downs. We're already late. Not enough drinking. Last time i went to the derby I was drunk by 10:00 drinking mint juleps. Then I almost got arrested

whatever.

Should be really fun. Rained here in Louisville last night. Should make for an interesting race.

Louisville is pronounced LULL-ville